Disappointment: Part II

August 21st

Helser's on Alberta.  Again.

Only this time, breakfast and coffee on a Tuesday afternoon.

How did I get here?

It started this morning.  I was at work when I got the email that we are being forced to vacate our apartment by December 15th.  Well, "no option to renew" is the technical part, but if we find something sooner then that is allowed.

We just moved in on June 15th...

I expected to be here at least a year.  This place is magic.  I fall in love every single day when I walk through the door, when I make coffee in my sunny kitchen, when I sit on my stoop in the crisp mornings reading a book.

I instantly started crying, a little bit uncontrollably.  I had to take a walk.

All of the things happening lately.

All of the "life" I'm struggling to handle.

And now this -- something of a mighty blow.

What a pisser.

Forget trying to work.  Forget these stupid emails and meetings and phonecalls and BS.  I want to be away from here, more than anything.

Only, where can I go?  My distress about this news makes our adorable, wonderful, perfect little house the last place on earth I want to be.  I don't want to be at work because I cannot emotionally handle it.  I don't really want to be walking around in public for fear of nuclear meltdown.

So what does that leave?

I got through the morning best I could, fulfilled some duties that would have reflected badly on me had I not handled them.

Then I bailed for the only place I could call sanctuary: breakfast on Alberta.  And Helser's specifically has a pepper bacon and cheddar hash that is Heaven dipped in sunshine drizzled in chocolate served on a toasted English muffin with a pint on the side, and a cup of coffee, blessed personally by God Almighty, spewing rainbows into the Cosmos.

[...]

And now it's in my belly.

Fuck this day.