What if we started telling people to their faces exactly what we thought of them? What would happen?
You are as much an insufferable douchebag as your husband, and I find it delightfully ironic!
I wonder if people would laugh. I feel like they would laugh. But I don’t think they’d take it seriously.
The sight of your face makes me want to break things into little pieces and then stab you in the toes with them.
Well, maybe they would. But if someone told me to my face what they truly thought of me, I could see myself laughing. It would be a very unexpected reaction for me, but I could see it.
Can you be more nonexistent, please? You being here is messing up my emotional shui.
Well, maybe not. I take everything too seriously.
I wish I knew when you were joking and when you weren’t. Then I could laugh when you are and completely ignore you when you’re not.
Do you ever feel like your voice evaporates as soon as it comes out of your mouth?
Can you call this person because I want to make sure this is correct.
But it is correct.
But I need to know for sure. Can you please call them?
It looks like it’s correct to me.
But it could be incorrect. Can you just find out for me please? I just need to know if it’s correct for sure.
But it looks correct.
Or like you’re wandering through your life like it doesn’t belong to you?
Can you be quieter, please?
Can you leave the room so I can talk at my normal volume, please?
Do you ever have days where you not only wish everyone would disappear for a minute, but you yourself would disappear?
I’m sorry, your whisper is still much too loud. I realize you’re trying to help, but it’s completely ineffective.
I still feel like I can’t say what I want to people. Other people put people in their place. Why can’t I? Why don’t I have balls? Why did my balls not grow in?
I had a dream that Werther’s Original candies were laced with toxic chemicals. Maybe it’s a sign.
Maybe you should build yourself a cubicle.
Good idea.
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