Thoughts on Process

flow

loss of awareness and time
loss of self-consciousness
challenging, requiring concentration
requiring high level of skill
immediate feedback
lack of emotion

I produced a drawing, the final drawing of about 6 of 7, that gave me that fluttery, in love feeling.  The feeling that I used to get pretty frequently in art school, when I was drawing a lot.  The drawings preceding this one were apprehensive, careful, too self-aware.  It took making a number of those kinds of drawings to be able to let go and draw how I know how to draw, be how I know how to be, make something beautiful, effortlessly and gracefully and without regard for my own feelings, like I've done a hundred times before.

It takes making something lackluster, then thinking Well, I'll just try something else... and continuing on.  Ho-hum drawings can feel like wasted time and paper, but if that's what it takes to create a masterpiece, then so be it.

...

It's a process of following a thought rolling around in my head.  I try to express the thought, either successfully or unsuccessfully, then once complete I either try to express the same thought again or it has lead to another thought that requires expressing.  This can go on for hours, attempting to make visual a thought that is both image and deep emotion, intertwined inextricably.