Confession: I'm Not Just the Operator

Tart Grass Delight
1 bunch Wheat Grass
1/2 can chunked pineapple

Pulverize, let drain into a cup
Stir with spoon to mix

*Very energizing, so be careful


Mary's Twin Sister
Canned tomatoes
2 carrots
2 celery stalks
1/4 cuke

Pulverize, let drain into a big cup
Stir with spoon to mix
Add fat splash Tabasco
Dash salt
Dash pepper

*This one just about blew my nuts off

My Mother Has Since Disowned Me

Mom:  All I can say is this: First, she moves to Treehuggerville . . . Then lands a job with a biofuel company . . . And now THIS.  Every Republican mother's nightmare . . . a juicer.  A JUICER?  That's bad enough, but WHEAT GRASS?  There's the frosting on THAT heartbreak cake.  Say it isn't so, Pea!  What next?  An effin' Smart Car?????

Me:  If it's any consolation, both the juicer and the wheat grass are Will's . . . I'm just the operator.

Mom:  Yes, but YOU allowed it in your domicile.  GUILTY!  And, you kiss the lips that DRINK wheat grass juice.  Me?  I'd rather eat puke cookies.

No Good Can Come From This . . .