Pre Mom-Flying-Out-to-Visit Texts

Mom: Am packing!!!!!!  I have no clothes and what I have I hate!!!!!!  Aaaarrrgggghhhh! The bane of womanhood!

Mom (trying to send me a picture of an old tin canister with hand-painted rooster):  Do you love like hate or have no response to this?

...

Mom:  Did you get a pic?  Jim and I are tards . . .

Me:  Nope, no pic.

Mom:  How bout this time?

Me:  Nope.

Mom:  Good god damn how the fargity fuck fuck do you send a freakin effin picture with one of the fuckin fargin android fuckin phones anyway?  I've done it before . . .

...

. . . . .

.   .   .   .   .   .

<Successfully sends me a picture of her students in class. Hooray!>

Mom:  Take a pic of U and send it to my class.  Be butiful

Me:

Mom:  I was freakin serious.  My perfect students want to see your face.

Me:  What?!  Don't I look butiful??

Mom:  Everyone here is puking.