The Sky is Bigger in Portland

July 25, 2010

            Love
            Doilies
            T-pins
            Leftover pizza


           Don't love
           Dust
           How the word "snarky" is often better than "snide"
           Spilling


 August 7, 2010


           Summer storm, the smell of rain.  I can feel my soul shift.
                Glad you're still there, Soul.
           Lime green and blue.  Jeans, stripes, flip-flops. Flopflopflop.
           A part of me has died and a new part has awakened.
           Is this what being alive feels like?

Amping Up the Throes (Or Throeing Up the Amps?)

            On the docket:

                       Listen to more rap music

                       Make plans to see Matthew in February

                       Finish Jamie’s Baby Shower gift (like, NOW)

                       Continue ridding arm flub

                       Prepare next week’s docket

throe

-noun

   1.   a violent spasm or pang; paroxysm.

   2.   a sharp attack of emotion.

   3.   throes,

          a.  any violent convulsion or struggle: the throes of

             battle.

          b.  the agony of death.

          c.  the pains of childbirth.

-synonyms

3a. upheaval, tumult, chaos, turmoil.

par•ox•ysm

-noun

   1.    any sudden, violent outburst; a fit of violent action

         or emotion: paroxysms of rage.

   2.    Pathology. a severe attack or a sudden increase in

         intensity of a disease, usually recurring periodically.

Starting to Defrost

The Meaning of Life: Part I

What is life all about?  My mom articulated it so succinctly, so eloquently:

“I'm glad you're having fun and feeling loved. That's kinda what it's all about, ya know? Oh, and wearing cute clothes and sexy shoes. . . and drinking good coffee. . .

 and Thai food. . . and having a nice girlfriend. . .

  and china tea cups. . . and high quality sheets. . .

   and lavender. . . and a terrific hair cut. . .

    and black and whites floors. . .” 

I second that.  All of that.

We Don't Always See What We're Looking At

July 16, 2008

On my birthday, I:
          >walked 5 miles
          >drank a mimosa the size of my head
          >had expertly groomed eyebrows
          >worked out with Britney Spears and Toney Little
          >ate an obscenely large dinner (and two desserts...)
          >cried

Money is liquid,

         not concrete.

April 8, 2008

Love

daffodils, hands down
summer fruit
learning to cook (and still not really being able to)
thinking that moving elsewhere will solve all my problems
when friends do things I don’t expect (plane ticket to Philly, anyone?)


Hate
dying daffodils
razor burn
the word "melange"
lack of lunch break
indecision

March 2, 2008

We don't always see what we're looking at.

            

                       Need                            

                       inspiration
                       to avoid illness

                       movement                      Want

                       chocolate                          passion

                       simplicity                       beer

                                                              a date

                                                            better skin

                                                                   simplicity

I don't like when people 

think they know what I'm about, 

and they don't.

February 10, 2008

Yes:
 

Tea. Food. Sketchbooks. Drawing. Making. Creating. 

Fantasizing. Writing. Walking fast. Wearing moccasins. People-watching. Eggs. Finding books to get lost in. Painting. Pondering. Pongering. Making up words.
Thinking. 

        Feeling. 

               Emoting. 

                      Trying to find good. Seeing. The ever-present challenge of making ends meet.

                                                                                                                            Destroying.

Existence. Souls. Meaning. Life. Jeans. Death. Music. 

Coffee mug collecting. Cell phone avoiding. Coffee indulging. 

     Lack of curtains. Abundance of shoes. Black. Sunshine. Sunglasses. 

            Making excuses to stay home. Wanting to go out. 

                  Coffee shops. Journals. Candles. Uncomfortably hot showers. 

                                                                                 Hairspray. Watercolors. 

                                                                                                               Time.

How to Care For Your Peabody

                         Simultaneous moments of clarity;

                       >big line, small line

                       >Radiohead

                       >American Beauty soundtrack

                       >hundreds of small coffee cup drawings

                       >fat marker, thin pen

                       >balance, reciprocity, symmetry

 

What kind of mark do you leave?  On the paper, on the world?

Everybody is the same on paper.

Oh, pour etre une Fille Francaise . . .

KT and I decided we are going to be French girls. 

Coralie Clement

                                     Step 1:  Learn French

                                     Step 2:  Find my natural hair color

                                     Step 3:  Take up smoking

  

                                       Love                                       Hate

                                       Coralie Clement                    Foul aftertaste

                                       Faux-crystal buttons           Dirty roots

                                       Synchronicity                        “Don’t”

Hound's Tooth and Tiny Batmans

Curious:

Compulsively stuffing napkins into my purse

Discovering coffee is like Mexican food: the more I consume it, the more I want to be consuming it

Arriving in the Northwest, breathing that fantastically fresh air, the ahhh feeling of being where I am supposed to be, resting where my soul insists I rest

Feeling the surge of creativity through my veins as if the geography itself, the twisting rivers and winding roads of the landscape beneath, lends to my steady and quickened heartbeat

What do you spend your lunch breaks doing?

     What do you want to spend your lunch breaks doing?

Just because the carrot cake is there doesn't mean you must eat it

The Tales of Garlic Fingers

Hound's Tooth does, in fact, occasionally look like tiny Batmans

When did I start preferring the shady side of the street?

Hello.  I love you.  Won't you tell me your name?

Fighting the Habitual

KT's new tattoo?

Death & Flowers

Thank you, KT.

Lo in Rear View
April 2010

Amping up for World Domination

From: Brother
Sent: 01/06/11 3:20 PM
To: Sister
Subject: Let's get right to it, eh?

First,

Apologies for falling off the radar.  I'm in the throes of my "amping up" process.  I assume you know
what that means, but if not, make a mental dog-ear and we can chat on it another time.

Second, thanks for the continued updates on apartments.  I'm still a little ways from being able to make
any solid decisions — the hunt for work being my first real priority — but just seeing them is encouraging.
And, of course, really effin' exciting.  Like... really.  Effin'.  Exciting.

Third, the blog!  Gut reaction, in my personal order of preference:
1.  Typewritings
2.  Yellow Teapot [Press]
3.  Starshine [Inc. / Press]

If you're looking for something more in-depth by way of reply, are you free this afternoon for a phone call?
I'm locked up in my fortress of solitude, rocking myself into the slow momentum of building my new empire,
and am free to be hollered at.

C.

the R.

...
..
.

From: Sister
Sent: 01/06/11 3:41 PM
To: Brother
Subject: Let's get right to it, eh?

Ahhhh, yes . . .

He lives . . .

Do not fret about falling off le radar.  I assumed no less ---

Of COURSE he's consumed by the throes of his amping up process. 

Of COURSE he's locked up in a self-imposed fortress of solitude from which he shall derive his powers. 

Of COURSE he's rocking himself into the slow momentum of building his new empire, through which he will, with nary a scratch, take over the world. 

 Of.  COURSE.

And while the world domination is brewing, I do so enjoy your top three picks for The Blog.  I had a feeling you'd lean those ways . . .

And yes, I would like to discuss it further.  However, I'm feeling a little McYuck right now -- Not sick, but not NOT sick.  Struck after lunch.  Headachey, stomachachey, general gnar.  So maybe a short-ish chat?  I'll see how I feel. 

I holler at you soon.

Kbye.

Haiku

March 14, 2008

On partying:

The light, beaming in,
sends razors into my eyes
too much late night beer.

On Venus vs. Mars:

"I’ll make you dinner,"
he said with joy and surprise.
Top Ramen again.

On expectations:

I wanted wise words
advice of sorts, but instead
he puked on my shoes.

On art:

Little line drawings
bring me joy and pleasures great.
Ignore everyone.

On family:

You’re too far away
to have coffee and breakfast
I’ll move to Portland.

Like A Stuffed Horse with Button Eyes

July 17, 2008

     Things forgotten pop back later, unexpected
     things known but lost then retrieved
     in a moment of clarity;
     mission accomplished, but wasted
     space.  Clear it out, please, and
     make room for art and beer.

Katie found the first gray hairs atop my head, and though they're cut and saved inside a little Band-Aid, I've resolved to survive primarily on coffee, beer, and Marianne's ice cream in an attempt to regain my youth and my pre-graduation pant size.

I miss Portland and I'm not even there yet.

I miss Santa Cruz already and I'm not even gone.
And I miss my momma. 

Of course.

Mom = The Funniest Woman on the Planet

Ever.  Period.

From: Mom
Sent: 01/10/11 2:30 PM
Subject: So, Thai food grief therapy. . .

. . . THAT sounds really good. The closest I can get around here is Kung Pao Panda Chop-Chop Fast Food. Me no love that long time!

I agree. I HATE being a grown up. It blows. 

So, YOU started a blog, eh? Good call. Can't wait. . . you gonna belch and swear in it? You'd better. . . Laurie and I came up with a "scale" for cursing. The "Sailor Scale." She thinks she's a 7.5. . . gracious! What does that make ME? It could also be called the "George Carlin Scale."

Late Breaking News = Jim FINE-ally arrived in Grand Junction at exACTly the same moment I walked through the door with my VERY drugged out and miserable dog. I guess the planets have realigned themselves? To some degree, anyway. 

OK. Gonna go eat. I was too fraught today to be hungry but now I'm STARVING. 

Yo’ Ma

From: Mom
Sent: 01/10/11 3:14 PM
Subject: And because I have no Thai food available. . .

. . . and because my husband is across the country (sob) and because my dog doesn't feel good (boo hoo) and because the world doesn't (in fact) revolve around me (wah) and because I'm a grown up (sniffle) and because I have no beer <insert mournful Russian violin music> and because I went all day without eating (dumb) and am really, REALLY hungry (grumble! growl!), MY food therapy will consist of eating a pile of quesadillas and a pan of brownies. 

Yo' Ma

Thus Begins the Thread . . .

From: Brother
Sent: 11/10/10 10:45 AM
To: Sister
Subject: ...

3 eggs
1/2 green bell pepper
1 handful mushrooms
1 chicken apple sausage
1/2 avocado
2 cubes pepper jack cheese
1 tortilla
1 pot of coffee

...
..
.

From: Sister
Sent: 11/10/10 10:51 AM
To: Brother
Subject: ...

...

..

.

So, you're in Heaven, then ?

Maiden Voyage?

The best place to start would be the beginning.

Instead, I will start somewhere in the middle.

July 27, 2008

Find her.  Listen to her.  Love her.

The Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

-Kate Nash